literature

Pony Rap Battle: Twilight Sparkle

Deviation Actions

Tasogares-Target's avatar
Published:
1K Views

Literature Text

Twilight Sparkle:
Check the mic, check the list, check the rappers to the floor
Jot this, Spike: They all missed, listening to them is a chore
They can't rap, they can't rhyme, they can't even keep a beat
There's a gap in my time, I'll pencil in their defeat
1) "Skim a book"
2) "Learn to flow"
Checked those items off my list
"Queen to Rook,"
I will crow
Away their corpses I will whisk
Matching wits with my doll is something they can't even muster
When they try, Smarty Pants will simply leave them in a fluster
I'm not bragging; it's a talent that they told me to not hide
"Your rap's cragging!" I've got to vent, "Are you really Derpy-eyed?"
They can't spell. I'm spell casting; conjuring up a body cast
My Mag Mell: beats I'm blasting; their raps will come in gaudy last
I learn fast; read for seconds, now I'm rapping like a pro
They're so crass! Failure beckons 'cause they have not any flow
Flowing tears down their faces shows their knowledge of defeat
They spent years to be aces not knowing what is elite
The Princess hoof-picked me for my excess magic talent
"You must suss," I decree, "You are tragic and not valiant"
"Your bravado failed you here when you stepped up to the mic"
"Reap what you sow, my non-peer, leave now, you, and the like"
Edit: I [kind of] fixed the point of view/speaker-audience issue.

I thought I was done after the Rarity one, but the first line came to me, then it got rolling, even though I got writer's block with this one the most. I'm actually not too sure if it's finished here. XP I finally strayed from the obsessively precise rhyming to make it fit more nicely and overall much better. The pattern of the raps being progressively less referential continues. )=
By the way, one is not supposed to read the "1)" and "2)". Those are to make it look more like they're things on a list that Twi is looking at. Also, the "Learn to flow" was accomplished by the "Skim a book" part, if that wasn't clear.

I saw some rap battle comments in the Comments of a YouTube video and was inspired to make my own.

I got burnout on my Twilight Sparkle rap (the change in rhyme scheme and self-imposed rules made it difficult and tiring), so this short, pretentious rap is all I could muster.

Derpy Hooves (directed at the Mayor):
You call me "Herp-Derp," but you ought to refrain
'Cause you can't match wits with my reptilian brain
Did you catch that? I just dropped some Greek on you
Like a pot, an anvil and a piano, too
You're a hippo-hypocrite beneath your guise
Meaning a phony pony whose actually not wise
Everyponys fed up with your muffin tax
You should be recalled! Go on and make tracks!


My Pinkie Pie one!
My Rarity one!


I'm not affiliated with these, but they're good, so listen to them:
> The Brony Syndicate - Pony Swag Megamix
> My Little MC Hip Hop is Magic
> [EPRBOE] Battle #1: Twilight Sparkle VS The Great and Powerful Trixie


The following is entirely unrelated except that they are Pony parodies of sorts:
Pony Champloo
Pony Bebop
Pony Bebop - (Fixed Sound)
My Little Scootaruto - Friendship Dreamers [PMV]
The Venture Ponies Intro


This has nothing to do with Ponies, but I felt like putting a link to it, so... "Saturday Night Live - Natalie Raps"
© 2012 - 2024 Tasogares-Target
Comments6
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
iron-ghos's avatar